Aug 17th

A lot of pain in my heart that beats me down behind the scenes

A lot of tears in my eyes that my pride won’t let me see

A lot of mistakes, that turned to regrets

A lot of anger and stupid late texts

A lot of love with no more direction to give it

A lot of fear toward love and the will to get it.

A lot of time and the more it ticks the further we’ll be.

A lot on my mind, I want to stop thinking

A lot of hope looking at this phones screen wondering if you’re why it’s ringing.

A lot of memories that’ll fade away with a shot I didn’t take

A lot of questions, like do you see what I did for you now?

A lot of heeeelll naws, fuck her, and do you..

A lot has happened, there’s a lot more to life than this.

I just know that this time around our story ends

Just because neither of us knew how to really commit.

Transition

Do you know about…

Biting your teeth so hard to stop the tears?

Avoiding mirrors just to not face the pain?

Playing music loud to drown out your heartbeat?

Taking deep breaths to calm your thoughts?

Closing your eyes to sleep but see the memories you loved?

Waking up to the cold area next to you where they should be?

Your hands remembering their warmth?

Crying out for help and being left to dry your own tears?

Letting go knowing you’ll never hold on again?

Having your love misunderstood?

Begging the one you love not to leave?

Leaving.

Looking back?

Leaving.

Running back?

Leaving.

Remembering?

Leaving.

Leaving.

Leaving.

Broken

I didn’t want to leave

I was too stubborn to go to you.

Our souls bound.

I fear it’ll tear if I continue..

Running from you

Being mad at you

Hating you.

Everything but loving you.

It’ll tear.

Then I’ll finally know what broken is.