Red lights on, some chill music playing and heavy vape smoke lingering about.. almost like my place is low key a hookah lounge that only I have access too.

I’ve been feeling like I’ve been posting for no reason, as if people really care about reading my same ol complaining – but after reminding myself that I started doing this to clear my head and nothing more, here I am & oh I appreciate whoever checks into this and follows because I know time is valuable so thanks for taking a few minutes to read this.

Anyways-

Wow, it’s that time again to look back on where and what you fucked up on, talk about what you’re not going to fuck up on this time around and add just a hint of goals mixed with power moves on the side.

Yeahhhh you’ve guessed it, it’s now 2019 (side bar, my army contract is one year closer to being over whoop whoop) & it seems just like yesterday when I posted about it being 2018 while I was overseas on here and here we are again.. man time seems to be either moving too fast or I’m stuck on a slow ass pace, or the same pace? Is it Nostalgia keeping me back? Maybe.

I’m officially lame, lame as fuuuuck if I’m to be clear.

& I don’t really care about that –

I’m just tired of the people asking me “what are you doing for New Years” – my response let’s me know that it’s true; I’m getting lame, older, & doing my best at adulting. I’m doing nothing lol, on god. Shit, I just paid rent since it’s the 1st & so I’ll be right here sitting my ass at home playing my PlayStation. I mean forreal, Is there something I’m not seeing in myself for people to think I’m about to go out, turn up & waste money on drinking with people who could really care less about me ? Maybe that’s the wrong mindset to have but that’s what I’ve been shown.

Besides I haven’t drank in two months so I don’t feel the need to go out. Props to me on that one.

This is a year of more self control, self love, mental health, healthy relationships, eating better, staying consistent in working out, better choices, taking advantage of every door that opens, commitment, letting go of dead weight, finding, keeping and understanding love. Carelessly waving the middle finger at all negativity and negative people along the way.

& Maybe this is the year I stop saying maybe? Maybe this is the year that the woman I’ve been looking for reveals herself? Maybe I won’t judge myself too much this year? Maybe I’ll be the best me I can be this year? Maybe I’ll be nicer to the loved ones in my life and stop isolating myself from the people who know me the best? Maybe I won’t let sex distract me or steer me into the wrong mindset? Maybe I’ll get some control on my emotions so they don’t run my life so much? Maybe I’ll stop being a home body and go and be a social butterfly? Maybe I’ll travel and get to know myself better instead of letting others perceptions of me guide me, Shit, maybe I’ll win the lottery too. Who knows. Maybe..

2k19- don’t let me down

Happy New Year y’all. Stay blessed. Stay safe